How Can Parenting Skills Affect Children’s Behaviour?
As children learn and grow, they take on an incredibly overwhelming amount of information, combined with a very small view and understanding of the world. This means that they take a lot of their learnings and values from their caretakers. In our ParentZone classes, we often discuss how children observe their parents’ behaviours. By doing this they begin to understand the impact of their own behaviours, and naturally begin to internalise this when they transition into adulthood.
Because of the way children observe their parents’ behaviours, their relationship with them has an impact on how they act as adults. It’s important to understand the skills that can have a positive impact on your child’s behavioural development, and it starts with understanding the four types of parenting styles.
The four parenting styles
The four parenting styles can be mapped as a spectrum, where parents can fall at the very end of one style or be a combination of a couple.
Authoritarian
This is a strict parenting type that uses discipline and house rules fairly frequently. It’s a less nurturing style of parenting with higher expectations. Children who receive authoritarian parenting will be obedient and follow orders – plus relatively hard workers. However, because of this obedience, they may struggle with taking time for themselves or cannot set boundaries in their workload.
Authoritative
Authoritative parents practice discipline, set clear rules and maintain nurturing and supportive relationships with their children. Communication styles are clear and suited well to the child’s understanding and awareness. While expectations are still set high, they are stated clearly, and children may have input in their goals. Usually, this style of parenting combines healthy elements of nurturing parenting styles and disciplined styles, which is why it can create self-disciplined, independent children.
Indulgent/Permissive
This style of parenting is essentially the opposite of authoritarian. There are almost no rules and children have the autonomy to make decisions on their own. These parents can be quite nurturing and take the role of a friend more than a parent. Because of the leniency, these children may grow up to have problems with authority and struggle to self-regulate.
Uninvolved
Uninvolved parenting can result in children who have low self-esteem and low self-control. Because they haven’t been given praise and discipline for their behaviours, they won’t know how to regulate them or recognise consequences. Parents that don’t spend time with their children can also lead to distance relationships in the future.
As a parent you might find you lean to one side of the spectrum, or you might find you value the use of two specific styles over one. Each of the four styles has an impact on a child’s behaviour which is why it’s important to have an understanding of your own style.
Adapt your parenting style for the betterment of your child
Parenting styles that focus on one specific parenting style can have consequences on your child’s behaviour, and usually, these consequences don’t develop a well-adapted young adult. It’s important to recognise the importance of adapting your natural parenting style, but also understanding how you can create a moderated parenting style that utilises all four styles in a healthy and supportive manner.
Anglicare Victoria provides free parenting groups, workshops, resources, and training for parents across Victoria. Our skilled and experienced facilitators tailor the sessions to meet the interests of each group. ParentZone programs cater to all ages and stages, from babies to young adults. Programs address the stages and challenges faced by parents including family violence, mental health, technology and school attendance.
If you are looking for support in parenting, please reach out to Anglicare Victoria on 1800 809 722. Or why not attend a ParentZone program or course? See Parenting courses and programs here.
