The Importance of Communication in Parenting
As your child grows, communication becomes a major part of their part in the world, and it starts with communication in the home. Communication with children can be complicated, as you want to ensure honesty while still managing topics and discussions that may distress or be irrelevant to the child.
Moderated communication
While you want to build a positive, equal relationship with your child, it’s important to not cross the barrier of too much information or putting too much pressure on your child to take on too much at once. Relationships where you treat your child as a friend or adult can lead to the child feeling overwhelmed or having issues in the future with authority and relationships. When you need to speak about bigger ideas make sure to chat with your partner or friends and keep communication with your kids focused on: their worries and concerns, their learning and development, and the values and tasks that you want children to learn about.
Trusting communication
Uncertainty can be anxiety-inducing, and lack of explanation can lead to children who do not properly see the value of their expectations. This open communication is especially important when children are given chores, tasks or communicating with people outside of their family, as they can start to build an understanding of the purpose behind actions and behaviours. It is not productive to give vague responses to questions, such as “because I said so”, as then children only pair behaviours with discipline.
Communication with others
As you build on your communication skill between you and your child, it’s important to always remember the skills necessary for your child to effectively communicate outside of the home. Young children especially can fear speaking to unfamiliar faces and may even avoid it altogether. However, practising with close family members or friends, as well as other children, may help build their confidence. You should also set a good example by always communicating in a polite and open manner whenever they are around.
Transparent communication
Children want to know “why”. When you can give them the “why” you give them a clearer understanding. Does your child know why you give them chores? Or know why they say “please” and “thank you”. Maybe your child doesn’t know why you get frustrated or upset in certain situations. Clear communication is the most vital teaching of any child.
Supportive and positive affirmation
Instead of focusing on the bad behaviours, give more recognition to the positive behaviours. Communicate your appreciation for their good actions and discuss with your child how they understand and recognise the result of their behaviours. Can they see others around them content, have they helped someone? Have they contributed to cleaning or finished a task without the need for the parent to ask? The more they see the consequences of good behaviours the more they will want to do them.
How poor communication impacts children
- Avoidant parents can lead to a lack of social skills or self-esteem
- Censored communication may not prepare children for adulthood
- Criticism will incite fear-based responses to their behaviours, instead of encouragement and motivation
- Closed off communication may leave children anxious
Finally, when children see the effort you are making to support your child and communicate effectively, they will value the relationship with you, and value the importance of open communication outside the home.
If you are looking for support in parenting, please reach out to Anglicare Victoria on 1800 809 722
