How to Develop Parenting Skills for Your Child’s Development
As our parenting courses explore, building positive family relationships is complex, demanding and ever changing. During the ever-changing and complex childhood development parents have an opportunity to utilise strategies that enable children to grow into ‘responsible’ adults while feeling supported, loved and valued. As we explore ways that we can build positive relationships within the family, there are some common areas that contribute to successful positive relationships.
Communication Tips
One of the keys to building positive family relationships is improving communication. Communication is impacted by many things. It is not only about what we say and hear, but it is also about body language, tone of voice, what we already know, how we are feeling and what is happening in our lives. Indeed, communication can involve no words at all. A smile, a touch or a gesture can sometimes communicate more than words ever could.
Dealing with feelings
As parents and carers it is important that we find ways to accept feelings and have appropriate ways to express feelings. Many people find dealing with bad feelings difficult. However, bad feelings are normal, natural and useful. Before parents or carers can help children deal effectively with feelings we need to learn how to deal with our own emotions and express them in an acceptable way. Our ParentZone team know that mastering these will help parents better support their children!
Engaging in experiences through Family Fun
It’s important to dedicate time with your child to just have fun and enjoy each other’s company! This helps to build a safe bond with your child and helps them recognise your company as a positive. It also gives you the chance to learn more about your child’s interests. This can be simply done throughout the day by sharing activities, spending time around the table with food and laughter!
Consistency with boundaries
Boundaries are tools that parents and carers can use to keep children safe and feel secure. When children don’t know their boundaries they feel insecure and devise ways to get the attention of their parents. When setting boundaries it is important to set suitable limits that are real and consistent. Rules support children’s understanding of boundaries by letting them know what they can and can’t do while keeping things simple and avoiding confusion and power struggles.
Praise and encouragement
Parents are the foundation of children’s lives. It is natural and normal for them to want attention from their parents. If we give attention when they are behaving well, through encouragement and praise, they continue to develop an understanding of good behaviour and this will also boost their self-esteem. Praising also supports children to feel valued and worthy. Praise and encouraging children’s behaviours for what they do and for their efforts. This praise needs to be specific and real and needs to be about an action rather than the child. Remember, praise and encouragement does not always have to be verbal, it can be as simple as a smile or a pat on the back!
Flexibility
Consistency is an essential factor in parenting, but so is flexibility. Learn to adapt to your child’s specific needs and recognise what works and what doesn’t work. A child who has a flexible parent will better value the skill of flexibility in the future.
Unconditional love
Finally, a healthy relationship with your child will be one where your love is unconditional. A child should not feel that they will only be loved or supported if they meet your expectations/fit the criteria you have communicated – consciously or unconsciously. In order to establish a healthy relationship where your child knows they will not be rejected you want to ensure they know the difference between discipline and rejection.
Anglicare Victoria provides free parenting groups, workshops, resources, and training for parents across Victoria. Our skilled and experienced facilitators tailor the sessions to meet the interests of each group. ParentZone programs cater to all ages and stages, from babies to young adults. Programs address the stages and challenges faced by parents including family violence, mental health, technology and school attendance.
If you are looking for support in parenting, please reach out to Anglicare Victoria on 1800 809 722. Or why not attend a ParentZone program or course? See Parenting courses and programs here.
