For a variety of different reasons in a variety of different ways, children can display difficult, challenging behaviour. Whether it’s at home or in the classroom, difficult behaviour is something all of the children’s ‘stakeholders’ (i.e. parents, carers, family members and teachers) want to respond to effectively.
So, how do we respond to difficult, challenging behaviour, and where can we go for help when we’re not making any progress on our own?
Here, Anglicare Victoria explains the best ways to respond to challenging behaviour and how we can help you.
Don’t reward it
One of the first thing rules about responding to difficult or challenging behaviour is not to reward it. This means that when a child misbehaves in order to get something, it’s crucial to not give in. While we understand this can be difficult, particularly for parents, failing to do so only creates the idea that if the child continues to misbehave, they will always get what they want.
A child at the supermarket sees a chocolate bar. When their parent refuses to buy it for them, they start pulling items off the shelves and screaming. If the parent then gives in and buys the chocolate bar, this sets up the precedent in the child’s mind: misbehaving gets me a reward.
Minimise attention
When a child is misbehaving, it’s also recommended to give their behaviour minimal ‘airtime’ or attention. When children display difficult, challenging behaviour, it’s often due to two reasons: 1) they want attention or 2) they’re attempting to avoid a non-preferred activity. When we give excess attention to children in these moments, it once again reinforces that negative behaviour comes with a reward.
Reinforcing good behaviour of peers
If you’re a parent in the playground, or a teacher in the class, reinforcing the good behaviour of a child’s peers is also an effective way to curb difficult behaviour. Instead of negatively repeating to the child that they should stop doing a certain action, positively reinforce another child who is behaving appropriately: Instead of ‘Stop hogging the crayons, Jason’, a positive way to communicate the message would be, ‘David, you’re sharing the crayons so nicely’. This way, you’re setting an example for the misbehaving child and showing that good behaviour gets good attention – bad behaviour does not.
Additional services: Meridian Youth, Family Therapy and TEACHaR programs.
We understand that responding to difficult or challenging behaviour isn’t always as simple as taking these measures. If you’re concerned that a child is displaying challenging behaviour due to something more serious, like trauma experienced at home, Anglicare Victoria is here to help.
Anglicare Victoria’s Meridian Youth, Family Therapy and TEACHaR programs provides support to help assist with a myriad of student-related issues, including school withdrawal, bullying, anxiety, behavioural problems, grief and loss, social isolation and many others. Contact Anglicare Victoria if you’d like to know more about how we can help you.
